Breakneck RL Pace

My RL is moving at a breakneck pace the past few weeks.  It seems I’m always busy, but lately, I’ve kicked it up a notch into overdrive and, as a result, have barely had the time or opportunity to make it to SL.  I still think of all my friends all the time; I just literally can barely make it to SL.  Most of my close friends know about the good things happening for me in my RL right now, and most of them know other ways to get hold of me too.  Don’t think I have forgotten about anybody at all; that couldn’t be further from the truth.  I’m never all that far!

Peace out everybody!  You’ll see me again before you know it!

Cold to LL

Its hard for me to comment on this.  And I probably shouldn’t even add anything to the conversation, but I suppose I will anyways.   The biggest issue recently in the kids communities of SL involve LL’s decision not to permit kids to fully participate in their upcoming fifth birthday celebration.  A lot of people and talking and writing about it and getting all fired up and I feel I need a space to just write for a moment about why I don’t feel the same as many of my closest friends.

In many ways what LL does just doesn’t matter a lot to me.  I’m cold to LL.  I see others get fired up over these issues, and I just can’t.  I just don’t feel that fire about this stuff.  Its not that I don’t want to, I just don’t.  I don’t give a damn about LL really, and I’m not saying that with anger either.  Its just not that important to me.

I care about Danny and Pix and about two dozen other amazing friends, and that’s what keeps me ticking in SL.  I just don’t really have the heart to care that much about what LL does.  I’m here for my friends, and if they left SL suddenly, I’d never sign in again.  Its all about them.  So when LL does something stupid, says something hateful, or does something unfair, as long as I can still sign in and be on Kikai or at Aspens, and close to the ones I love when I need them or they need me, then I just really don’t care that much what LL thinks or does.

I guess I just believe in the connections and friendships I’ve made in SL.  And I believe that those bonds are bigger than SL.  If SL went bankrupt tomorrow and disappeared suddenly from the internet, I believe that many of those friends I’ve made would still be there.  We’d find some other place.  Some other way.  I know we would.  And as long as I know that, then I’m happy.

I’m thankful for those who do and who fight for what’s right in SL.  But - for better or worse - I just don’t share that passion to actively join them.  Maybe that makes me a passive little wimp, but I’d rather just cuddle up close to Danny or another close friend with the few precious minutes I get to be in SL than to spend them fighting against LL.  That’s just me.

I hope I haven’t offended anybody too seriously, and I fully support all the great things our kids community is doing.  I’m just remaining a silent supporter in this one.

Angels

So Robin is all into these cultural events and stuff with his Kulture Kids group and stuff.  And I think that’s cool and all, ya know?  But that boy’s got to forget about culture and all that stuff a little, and just have some fun.  So last night I dragged him out to a baseball game and we saw the Angels beat the Tigers 1-0 in a 12 inning affair.  There were even fireworks after the game.  It was awesome.  It was a great game and even though the score was low, there was a lot of action with a lot of baserunners and a lot of great defensive plays.  We talked lots and we both had a lot of fun.  It was so cool!

In Second Life, there are some people who are friends.  We know them by name.  We see them at Aspens and at parties.  But then there are people that are FRIENDS.  The ones we lean on.  The ones we seek out when we are happy, or laughing, or crying.  These are the ones who give us a reason to log into Second Life, a reason to keep coming back to this special place.  I’m blessed to have several such friends in Second Life now.  And even though some of em can be just a little artsy and all cultural - like Robin and that one twin, Spenser (he he he) - they can also be some of the coolest people to ever touch our lives.

Thanks for going to the game with me Robin!  It was a blast!

Happy Tuesday everybody!

Ending a Friendship

I don’t know how to do this.  What do you do when you just don’t want to be friends with somebody any more?  What do you do when every time you are with somebody, you just can’t help but wish you could be alone instead?  I’m not angry.  I’m not hateful at all.  I just don’t want to be around this person any more.  He’s lied too many times and laughed it off later.  Betrayed me again and again.  Been allowed to know one of my secrets, and then not kept it.  And I just don’t want him around anymore.  But I’m also not hateful or angry about it - I refuse to let myself get to that point - so I don’t want to stir up a lot of drama.

I’ve been thinking I’m just going to stop talking to him.  That’s an option in this case.  Quit answering his emails.  Stop picking up the phone when I see his name on the caller id.  And when I do have to talk to him, just to be busy and indifferent.  Is that wrong?  Is that a cowardly way to deal with it?  Its not that I’m scared to face him about it, its just that I don’t want this to be anything dramatic.  And maybe I don’t want to burn bridges either.  I just want some distance. 

But then I think about that, and I think how awful I’d feel if somebody I cared about did that to me.  What if Danny just quit talking to me one day and I never knew why?  What if a brother suddenly became cold with me and I never had a chance to talk about it.  I’d feel devastated.  That would hurt terribly.  And I really believe that when people have issues they should just talk it out, try to work things out.  And I’m not really the type of person who gives up on anything, especially not on my friendships. 

So I’m stuck here.  Ready to walk away from something and at the same time reluctant and unsure.  And here I sit.  Just thinking.

Jump up and down…

Today is a great day. Today the California State Supreme Court ruled that same-sex couples could not constitutionally be denied the right to marry, paving the route for gay marriage in California. California already permitted domestic partnerships with all the same benefits as marriage, but previously denied same sex couples the right to call this marriage.

But not any more. This is very exciting news. I’m only fourteen, and I’m not going to get married any time soon, but its still so exciting to know that the world in which I am emerging will be a better one, a safer, fairer, more tolerable one, than the world that the generation before me endured. It’ll be a world where I can marry the man I love one day. Isn’t that wonderful?

There are still some roadblocks in California. A recent referendum is trying to create an initiative on the ballot this November that would amend California’s constitution and prohibit gay marriage. This initiative could destroy everything, but still, on this happy day, at least for right now, I’m not going to think or worry about that. Instead, I’m just going to savor this moment and jump up and down!

Yippie!

Peace out everybody. Happy Thursday!

Declan Galbraith - Maybe

I asked Danny this weekend to share with me the most beautiful song he could think of. After pondering a moment he sent me a link introducing me to a young British singer named Declan Galbraith. The song was beautiful. The boy singing it is amazing. I joked that I wanted to make my avatar look just him! I’ve spent the last few days listening to many of his songs, and decided I should share. The following song is his best. And it fits how many of us in SL feel about our second lives and the haven it provides.  Let me know what you think!

Prom Night

Aspens held prom last night and lots and lots of kids showed up dressed in their best.  Danny, Pix, and I spent the whole morning shopping and spent some $2000 lindens on clothes.  I never spend that much on clothes, but it was a lot of fun and it made for some cool pictures later and all.  Pix found this beautiful purple dress that was just gorgeous.  Danny and I had lots of lacy frilly things.  Almost a pirate look mixed with some Renaissance flare.

The prom itself was packed.  Tons of people were there.  They even set up a photographer.  Danny and I got our picture taken and I made that photo my new profile picture.  Danny did too.  We stayed till after prom ended, but by then it was very late for Danny and he went right off to bed.  **sighs**  I guess we’ll have to do our after prom festivities a little later.

Be sure to check out my Flickr page for a few pictures.  You can get there by clicking just to the right on my blog page.

Seeing Danny

Despite a hectic rl this week, I made it to SL every morning to see Danny.  My rl makes it really hard to see Danny because I’m working the whole time that he is awake, and he is in bed by the time I get home in the afternoons.  The time zones are hard on us.  The only way we really can see each other is in my early mornings.  That makes it tough.  But somehow we still make it work.  I love seeing Danny as much as I can even if its only for a short time.  Sometimes I worry that’s not fair to Danny, that I can see him so little, but he’s assured me that it really is ok with him, and I think he’s telling me the truth even though I also know that it is hard on us both too.

I think a big part of what makes me and Danny work is that we roll with the punches.  We talk things through and when we face something harder we find a way together to make it work.  Love does that for us.  It guides us through some darknesses.  I know my RL is not going to get any easier.  I’ve got a lot of things going on this summer and in the fall everything will be even busier than it is now.  Its never easy.  I mean, we still haven’t really even got Enkai the way we want it yet, but I know that’s just a matter of time.  We’ll get there.  Danny and I can make it through anything.

Peace out everybody.  Happy Friday!

And today’s stupid award goes to …

Me!

Ok, so I got a new computer abouts six weeks ago, a real nice one - a Dell XPS 630 - that could actually run SL the right way. Right? Well, its a Dell so you can customize it the way you want when you order online, so I added a 19-in-1 media reader to make it easier to transfer my digital pictures from my digital camera to the computer. Pretty simple, right? But Dell never installed it. Or so I thought. I called four weeks ago and Dell shipped me a new card reader and its been sitting on my computer case now almost two weeks. This afternoon I finally got around to install it, but was having some trouble because I couldn’t find a slot for it after I popped the case open. The spot it was supposed to go in already had something there. So I played around with it awhile before finally calling Dell support.

It was about mid-way through that call, after the technician couldn’t figure out my problem, that I noticed a small button on the front of the case. It was the first time I’d noticed that. I pushed it and a little door opened up exposing the media reader. The media reader they actually had installed just as I had ordered. Yup. I’m an idiot. I couldn’t find any spots for it cuz the actual media reader was already there!

So yeah, I had to swallow my pride and admit to the technician my mistake. He just laughed with me and said not to worry about it.

**sighs**

Anybody wanna buy a Dell 19-in-1 media card reader? Real cheap?

Have an amazing Sunday evening everybody! I know I’ll be uploading pictures now myself. He he he he!

Private Places

I’m just me. That’s it. I love being grouped together with Danny, knowing that when somebody thinks of me they automatically link me to him. And I love that I am linked to Pix too in the same way. I love being known as a Kikai boy, and as an Aspens boy. In some ways I suppose I am not just me, but that I am an integral part of many different circles of friends and groups. But despite all that I am still just me.

There are parts of me that nobody gets to. Private places. Spots deep inside me that are just for me. Songs I don’t share with anybody else. Poems I never read aloud. A safe warm place where nobody else is invited. There aren’t many of them. And I don’t dwell in these places. In fact, its all too rare that I get there. But they are mine. And they are me.

I’m not really sure why I’m writing this down right now. Not sure why its relevant in this moment. Just that I went to one of those places today, and was contemplating why it was important to me to be able to go there. Just thought about it today. And figured maybe I’d share just a little bit. Not too much. But just a little.